You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE