He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I would ride that face into the sunset
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