just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She bit a glass in half.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Randomize
