So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
