ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
