I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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