Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I wish there were birth control emojis
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize