I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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