garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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