Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
