Someone shit on the floor
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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