I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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