He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
