let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
