Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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