Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
