when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
