I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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