I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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