Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i now understand why vodka
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
