do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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