he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
