You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
