So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
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If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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