you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.