we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
