I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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