sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sorry about my life...