you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
