He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
