She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize