i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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