Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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