either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
