Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
