I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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