I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize