We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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