Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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