thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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