Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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