Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
