Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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