tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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