sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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