What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
