please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
