Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
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one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
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You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style