How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"