Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
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My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat