please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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