I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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