Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I found somebody to have a 3 sum with

(586): View more from Michigan

shutup! Who?!?

(248): View more from Michigan

Hahaha April fools!

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(248): I found somebody to have a 3 sum with (586): shutup! Who?!? (248): Hahaha April fools! http://tfl.nu/w7zs

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(319): View more from Iowa

True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes

(847): View more from Illinois

And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.

(319): View more from Iowa

At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.

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(319): True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes (847): And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me. (319): At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements. http://tfl.nu/k3x0

Replies (32) Good night (4366) Bad night (504)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

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(703): Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches... http://tfl.nu/6ywp

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.

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(414): filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach. http://tfl.nu/edt0

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(708): View more from Illinois

You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.

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(708): You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook. http://tfl.nu/mlr4

Replies (24) Good night (4258) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.

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(678): I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life. http://tfl.nu/5bor

Replies (17) Good night (4520) Bad night (774) Order T-Shirt
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(810): View more from Michigan

maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.

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(810): maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me. http://tfl.nu/khu4

Replies (18) Good night (872) Bad night (2096)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(

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(507): She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :( http://tfl.nu/2xc0

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(559): View more from California

I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?

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(559): I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad? http://tfl.nu/uj0t

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(303): View more from Colorado

Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.

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(303): Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank. http://tfl.nu/xsli

Replies (7) Good night (1577) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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(561): View more from Florida

I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you

(860): View more from Connecticut

I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.

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(561): I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you (860): I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/r7r6

Replies (5) Good night (1249) Bad night (354)
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(513): View more from Ohio

It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle

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(513): It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle http://tfl.nu/f7n7

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(417): View more from Missouri

THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW

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(417): THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW http://tfl.nu/z4i2

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(678): View more from Georgia

Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.

(404): View more from Georgia

We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.

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(678): Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to. (404): We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit. http://tfl.nu/4kzw

Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (523)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.

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(502): He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine. http://tfl.nu/krqd

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