Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me

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  (317): His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me http://tfl.nu/9tmv
  Replies (9) Good night (634) Bad night (2336)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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  (303): I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment. http://tfl.nu/lu2o
  Replies (11) Good night (3545) Bad night (979)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

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  (207): Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man http://tfl.nu/9o60
  Replies (43) Good night (6368) Bad night (962)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up in my neighbors garage.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.

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  (931): just woke up in my neighbors garage. (931): scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage. http://tfl.nu/x40j
  Replies (21) Good night (9353) Bad night (1272)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

  (317): View more from Indiana

  all hypothetical of course

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  (317): if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all? (317): all hypothetical of course http://tfl.nu/v0tg
  Replies (14) Good night (5468) Bad night (1188)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.

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  (217): You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information. http://tfl.nu/61w8
  Replies (6) Good night (4573) Bad night (784)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?

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  (+44): I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions? http://tfl.nu/vtab
  Replies (7) Good night (2562) Bad night (912)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.

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  (501): As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story. http://tfl.nu/lu21
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (2232)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

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  (610): Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card. http://tfl.nu/uepf
  Replies (12) Good night (4434) Bad night (820)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.

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  (613): New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple. http://tfl.nu/c07n
  Replies (12) Good night (2096) Bad night (689)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.

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  (248): Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/s4gv
  Replies (7) Good night (1241) Bad night (655)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future

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  (954): i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future http://tfl.nu/c3ju
  Replies (4) Good night (2061) Bad night (345)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.

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  (717): Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale. http://tfl.nu/0gl5
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (775)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.

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  (708): I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on. http://tfl.nu/l3j9
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (290)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal

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  (409): Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal http://tfl.nu/i6kh
  Replies (3) Good night (501) Bad night (178)

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