life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
What a dumb baby whore.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in