What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.