What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize