i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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