Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
