hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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