it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize