Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
