My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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