I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
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best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?