so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint