i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?