Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
