Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?