you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
