y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.