why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
