I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm sobbing to NWA
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
