I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
