this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.