I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
