You're completely useless in the revolution.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
