margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
