There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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