I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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